Do you just hear, or do you really listen? Listening is a skill in confidential line management 

”Yeah, I get it.” 

My laptop is open. Teams is flashing on the screen. I’ve just received a message on my phone. The next meeting starts in seven minutes. Listening feels like a challenge.

The person sitting opposite talks about something that is important to them. The listener hears what is being said, nods at the right moments and perhaps even asks a question. The conversation ends on a positive note. Still, listening seemed to be conspicuous by its absence.

You heard, but Did you listen?? 

That is the key difference. 

Good pre-personal work This does not mean that a manager always has the right answers. Often, what is more important is the ability to pause, listen and genuinely try to understand what the other person is saying – and what they are trying to say. 

Listening is one of the most everyday things management actions. At the same time, it is a surprisingly demanding leadership skill. Good listening is not just about keeping quiet. It is about being present, understanding, clarifying, learning and, ultimately, incorporating what has been heard into one’s actions. 

Listening is a step-by-step process. Each step takes you a little deeper, from simply hearing the words towards understanding, trust and action. These steps can be summarised in the guidelines below. 

Listen. Don’t interrupt. Don’t just reply. Listen so that you can carry on. Listen so that you can understand. Listen so that you can learn. 

Listen – really be there 

The first step sounds easy: give the other person your attention. 

In practice, this is precisely what can be difficult. A manager’s working day is full of interruptions, unfinished tasks and people waiting for the next decision. That is why listening can easily become a secondary activity – a form of ‘hearing’ that does not actually involve listening. 

However, you can quickly tell whether someone is really present. 

A listener who is fully present does not write an email at the same time or keep glancing at their watch. They give the conversation space. If there is only a quarter of an hour, they can even say so out loud: 

”I’ve got 15 minutes now and I’d like to use them for this. If we need more time, we’ll continue later.” 

If you’re physically present but mentally absent, try these: 

Tea: Stop, look at the person and focus on the conversation. 

Avoid: listening whilst doing something else. 

Ask: ”What is the most important thing for you in this matter?” 

Even with this small by the amendment It can have a significant impact. The message is no longer simply ”I hear what you’re saying”, but ”what you’re saying deserves my attention”. 

In the absence of air trust It doesn’t even manage to grow a single seed. 

Don’t interrupt – listen before you decide 

Many leaders have ended up in their roles partly because they are good at solving problems. When someone describes a challenge, a solution quickly begins to take shape in their mind. 

”Are you too busy? Let’s hand this project over to Pekka.” 

The solution may well be the right one. But it may come too soon. 

Perhaps the problem isn’t the workload after all. Perhaps the person doesn’t know what is expected of them. Perhaps collaboration with another team is not going smoothly. Or perhaps they are trying to say that they no longer feel in control of their work. 

If we jump to a conclusion before listening to the end, we can easily end up solving the wrong problem, or solving the right problem in the wrong way. We might cut the conversation short just before the most important point has been made. 

Tea: First, make sure you’ve heard the whole story. 

Avoid: giving advice during the first two or twenty minutes. 

Ask: ”Tell me a bit more about that.” or ”Have you said everything you wanted to say?” 

Three words – Did you manage to say everything? – can sometimes be more valuable to a mentor than three pieces of good advice. 

Don’t just reply – listen to the need behind the words 

At the next stage, the person in charge is already able to refrain from interrupting. However, that does not yet mean that they are actually listening. 

You may well have found yourself in a conversation where the other person is speaking and, at the same time, you realise you’re formulating your own reply in your mind. 

You seem to be listening, but your thoughts are already on what you’re going to say next. 

In that case, the other person is certainly allowed to finish speaking, but what they’re saying is constantly competing with the internal dialogue going round and round in your head. 

The next step, therefore, is to learn to listen consciously to the other person – rather than to one’s own thoughts and the response that is forming in one’s mind. 

Tea: Focus on what the other person is saying and what might lie behind what they are telling you. 

Avoid: carrying on the conversation with your own monologue as soon as the other person finishes speaking. 

Ask: ”What worries you most about this?” or ”What would you like to see happen in this situation?” 

At this stage, ‘consultation’ gradually begins to turn into ‘listening’. 

And at the same time, something essential to trust is created: the experience that the other person isn’t just waiting for their turn to speak, but is genuinely trying to listen. 

Listen to continue – build dialogue 

At this stage, hearing turns into genuine listening. 

Listen to the end and rein in your own thoughts just enough so that you aren’t simply listening to your own thoughts and your own world-class response. A dialogue begins to take shape from the two parallel monologues. 

A good conversation builds on what the other person has just said. 

Tea: Continue the conversation by building on the other person’s account. 

Avoid: changing the subject or forcing your own solution into the discussion. 

Say: ”That point you raised was interesting. When you combine it with this other perspective, the whole picture looks a bit different. What do you think about that?” 

Listening, then, does not simply mean giving the other person space. At its best, it means building a shared understanding. 

That’s one of the best things about good interaction: the outcome of a conversation can be something neither of you would have thought of on your own. 

Listen to understand – make sure you’ve understood correctly 

There is one insidious pitfall when it comes to listening. 

We can be absolutely certain that we have understood – and yet still misunderstand. 

That is why a good listener makes their own interpretation clear. 

”If I’ve understood correctly, it’s not so much the change itself that’s bothering you, but the fact that you don’t know how responsibilities will be divided up afterwards. Have I got that right? Please do correct me if I’ve got it wrong.” 

This is a small thing, but it serves two important purposes. 

Firstly, it gives the other person a chance to clear up any misunderstanding. Secondly, it shows that you have tried to understand. 

Tea: Put into your own words what you heard and understood. 

Avoid: an automatic nod and a ”I understand” reply. 

Ask: ”Have I understood correctly that…?” 

Even at this level, listening does not mean that the line manager has to agree. 

Understanding and agreeing are two different things. 

You can still take another person’s point of view seriously even if the decision does not change or the final outcome is different from what they would have hoped for. Trust can still be strengthened when a person feels they have been genuinely listened to and understood – not just heard. 

Listen to learn – turn what you hear into action 

Here comes what is perhaps the most difficult part of listening. 

Was I open enough in the conversation to be able to learn from the other person? 

And do I dare tell him that I’ve learnt something? 

After all, whether someone is worth listening to is not decided solely during the conversation. What happens after the conversation is at least as important in terms of building trust. 

OthersIs anything coming? 

When an employee shares their concerns, ideas or wishes, and their line manager shows that they are genuinely listening, this naturally leads to an expectation of follow-up. 

This does not mean that everything should turn out the way the other person hopes. 

That means that what is heard should have meaning. 

If nothing happens and the matter is never revisited, listening with good intentions can backfire. 

”People do ask us, but it doesn’t matter.” 

A statement like that is dangerous. It is no longer just about a single conversation. It begins to reveal the seeds of cynicism. 

That is why, after listening, one of three things is usually needed: 

It worked. Tell us what you’ve learnt, what happens next, who’s responsible and when we’ll revisit the matter. 

Find out. If you are not yet able to answer, please let us know how the matter will be dealt with and when it will be revisited. 

Just say ‘no’ honestly. If this cannot be done, please say so and explain why. Nevertheless, thank them for their perspective and explain what was learnt from the discussion and whether this insight might influence future actions. 

Not every wish needs to be granted. Not every suggestion should be accepted. However, there is always something to be learnt from every perspective and from everyone. 

A good manager doesn’t just hear – they listen 

Listening is a key interpersonal skill that can be practised in every interaction. 

It doesn’t have to mean an hour-long development discussion or complete silence all around. Sometimes, a decisive moment can be just five minutes in the middle of the working day. 

What matters is what you do during those minutes – and afterwards. 

Listen. Don’t interrupt. Don’t just reply. Listen so that you can carry on. Listen so that you can understand. Listen so that you can learn. 

Trust is built through what happens whilst listening and afterwards. 

To finish off, here’s a question for you: do you just hear, or do you really listen?